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Joke of the Day

"""I'd like to make a toast."" - piece of toast telling her toast husband she wants to start a family"

"What did the Mexican guy get for Christmas? His verdict."

"A useless blood vessel is found dead It died in vein"

"For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats."

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with large breasts? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean Credit; Dad"

"How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car? Tired."

"The first rule of fight club is don't hit hard I'm very sensitive"

"Saw a ""Don't Text and Drive"" sign on my way into work today. Good thing I took a second to look up from my phone, otherwise I may have missed it."

"The Great Spam Recycler"

"DESPERATION is exactly what I look for in a woman."