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Joke of the Day

"*me, at high school prom Me: So, you wanna dance? Her: Definitely! M: Can you tell me why?"

"Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"I needed to get a shipment of almonds to the airport quickly. It was so weird to call Uber and ask if they could drive me nuts."

"Just asked someone for their date of birth for a work insurance thing & it was 4/20/69 & I just went dead silent for at least 20 seconds"

"What You're Saying with Your Drink Choice Lol"

"Why can't a bicycle stand on it's own? **Because it's two tired.**"

"2 Stormtrooper are eating a Wookie steak it was chewy"

"How do crazy people get through the forrest? They take the psycho path."

"Hubs: * Hands me a broom* Make yourself useful Me: Flies away"

"I am a man with convictions. Mostly because I have a really terrible lawyer."