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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a below average sized dog? A sub woofer Yeah, I know I'm barking up the wrong sub reddit."

"Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift."

"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: only the inner light matters."

"How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics? They take their prison population and school population to Rio."

"How do you escape from a Jewish Cop? You take the toll road."

"When your parents held you as a baby for the first time, they secretly hoped you'd end up arguing with strangers on a celebrity's Instagram."

"Fact: In the 80s nobody could have sex until someone started playing a saxophone."

"My favorite new social app is turning off my phone."

"It's going to be so good when I finally make a tweet that lampoons society so much that everyone just changes their ways and smartens up."

"Do you know where my potted cactus went? [OC] Well, I can't put my finger on it..."