62493

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The ""head"" nurse."

"What do transgender cannibals call the blood of Christ? Cross dressing."

"Dammit, stop summoning me to fight global warming! I'll believe it when the remaining 3% of scientists believe it! -Republican Capt. Planet"

"I got this really good lifeprotip while in the shower, but I forgot it when I dropped the soap. Ah, now I remember what it was. Never pick up the soap when showering in a prison."

"What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving? I liked the leftovers before they were cool."

"I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships.. ""In HD"" was NOT the right answer..."

"Top causes of divorce: 1. Finances 2. Infidelity 3. Unmet expectations 4. Growing apart 5. Tandem bikes"

"I brought a glue gun to a knife fight. Those knives aren't going anywhere."

"I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German."

"My wife says I think of her as a sex object... I can't disagree though because everytime I ask for sex... She objects."