164261

Joke of the Day

"Dammit, stop summoning me to fight global warming! I'll believe it when the remaining 3% of scientists believe it! -Republican Capt. Planet"

"A catholic priest is drowning - if only he had a buoy to hold onto"

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your father's cock tastes like blood."

"Sleeping with me is a lot like sleeping with a stuffed animal. But that's only after I've eaten Mexican food."

"What are OJ Simpson's favorite keys on a computer? Return Home Slash Slash Backslash Shift Shift Shift Escape"

"What is your dog's favorite breakfast? Pooched eggs!"

"Q: Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil? A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from /r/funny by request)"

"Jealously is something you're good at when you suck at everything else."

"How many Frenchmen does it take to guard Paris? No one knows, it's never been done before"

"If you ain't Muslim... ....you ain't Shiite"