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Joke of the Day

"[Meeting] CEO: as u can see [points to graph w laser] we- BUSINESS CAT:[comes flying across table & just crashes right into a photocopier]"

"I'm going out with a girl I met online who's a vegetarian... I've never met *herbivore* :)"

"Dad cooks a deer for dinner... And doesn't tell the kids what it is. He gives one clue ""it's what your mother calls me"". The little boy yells ""it's a fucking dick, DONT EAT IT!!"""

"Kid's are afraid to take this nap. Kidnap."

"If Trump had a brick for every lie Hillary has said He'd be able to build the wall for free."

"Dolphins are really smart. Within a few weeks of captivity they can train people to stand on the edge of the pool and feed them."

"2016's been bad! But today is definitely the darkest!"

"If you want to find a needle in a haystack, burn the haystack."

"How does the Kool-Aid man end his jokes... with a punchline."

"I was going to tell you guys a joke about science... But all of them argon..."