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Joke of the Day

"2016's been bad! But today is definitely the darkest!"

"lol at all these fucking idiots in first class, cant even afford a private jet smh"

"What song did the gay guy sing on his way back from vacation in Thailand? Goodbye yellow dick road"

"Yesterday I tried to loosen a rusty lug nut... But it didn't turn out."

"[Trump speaking at rally] I love this country. I love America. I love singing the *looks at smudged writing on hand* Strawbangled Panther"

"Getting caught dating someone underage isn't a big problem. It's a minor problem."

"I went into my sons room and found a mouse, so I stamped it to death. It would have been so much easier if there wasn't a fucking cage around it."

"I wonder who Rose is going to kill in Titanic II."

"No officer, my car was already upside down when I got here."

"not to brag but i finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes."