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Joke of the Day

"I'm going out with a girl I met online who's a vegetarian... I've never met *herbivore* :)"

"if you run over a bicyclist with an acoustic guitar on his back the cops will pull you over and give you a briefcase with money in it"

"Sneezing while driving is my version of extreme sports."

"I once bought shoes in China that said ""made around the corner"""

"Maybe I have a bunny in my pants, maybe that's why I'm putting this salad in my pockets, you don't know me."

"Dude got his foot cut off, poor guy had to give up drinking milk. He lacked toes."

"RED, WHITE, AND BLUE, More like hepatitis type 2 ayyy lmao"

"What does the L in Samuel L Jackson stand for? Motherfucking"

"I broke up with my gym. We were just not working out."

"ME: I can understand why, it's so silky and luxurious. THEM: Huh? I said I worship Satan. ME: Oh. I thought you said ""satin."""