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Joke of the Day

"I'm going out with a girl I met online who's a vegetarian... I've never met *herbivore* :)"

"Steam Support Knock knock; Who's there? Steam support? Steam support who? ... ... ... ... We're sorry, VAC bans cannot be removed from this account."

"What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody Nose"

"""Shotgun!"" I yell as I push past the others and climb into the seat. I am subsequently escorted from the airplane."

"I'm sorry did you say your name is ned or bread"

"2 Wind Turbines walk into a bar... The first says, ""What kind of music do you like?"" The second says, ""I'm a heavy metal fan."""

"My girlfriend said ""Give me 10 inches and make it hurt!"" So I stabbed her with a ruler."

"There's no ""i"" in ""team"" but there are like millions of other words with ""i"" in them so what's the big deal about ""team"" anyway?"

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef."