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Joke of the Day

"I still miss my ex-girlfriend occasionally Sometimes I'll get to my hiding spot outside her bedroom window just minutes after she's left"

"Why is sex like Tetris? It's all about fitting the long piece in just right..."

"Why is it called Big Bang? Baby universe was born."

"Patient: Hey that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled. Dentist: Relax I'm coming to it."

"Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye? He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)"

"Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter."

"""It's a bird!"" ""It's a plane!""... What the hell were those two so excited about?"

"Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?"

"How do you kill a redneck? Wait until he fucks his sister and then cut the brakes on his house."

"A cat met her long lost boyfriend after 35 years and says.. Meow meow..."