196590

Joke of the Day

"Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed. Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter."

"My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for ""minimal lettuce."" He said he was sorry but they only had iceberg."

"What do vegetarian zombies want? Graaaaiiiiinss!"

"The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg"

"I wish you were my big toe So I could bang you on my coffee table"

"What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio ? Collie-wood !"

"I saw some beautiful women. Sometimes it makes me sad though and I almost don't want to start the chainsaw."

"What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?"

"Why is it called Black Friday? Because everything is a steal."

"Why did the hipster fail making ice cubes for his bourbon? Because he pulled out the tray before it was cool"