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Joke of the Day
"Guess what I'm going to do if I get Alzheimer's?"
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"9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won't tell you what they're wearing."
"What do call a white guy in a burning building? Fire cracker"
"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."
"What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder? Ben Ching."
"What does a bee from Asia do? Nepallinates flowers."
"Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? - He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado"
"Dad: Son do u know why we named you Titanic Hitting an Iceberg? Titanic Hitting an Iceberg: Because I w Dad: BECAUSE YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT"
"My girlfriend just texted me, her dragon name was ""Vaerjuam"". I was like "" Hey Vaerjuam. I'm dad."""
"Why do people at Disneyland hate coke heads? They're always cutting lines"