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Joke of the Day

"Hey geese crossing the road, u can fly."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Mexican and Donald Trump wouldn't allow it to cross the border."

"Machine uprising? Ha! What can they do? Toaster gonna burn my bagel? Vending machine gonna steal my money? Like they do now... Holy shit."

"I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I'm feeling pretty awesome!!"

"I've made a fortune in gambling by betting my bottom dollar that the sun will come out tomorrow, thanks to my bookie, Annie."

"an optimist, a pessimist, and a nihilist live in a shared apartment. dah- dum -- crash!"

"I saw an advert for a 1 TV. It said ""The volume is stuck on full."" Well, I can't turn that down, can I?"

"Will Will Smith Smith? Yes... Will Smith will smith"

"Frankly I find fassion shows to be haughty couture"

"Mom, I'm sleeping wit the neighbour -That's unacceptable young lady! He could be your Dad! -But Mom, you don't understand. Age doesn't matter for true love! -I didn't say anything about age ..."