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Joke of the Day

"Frankly I find fassion shows to be haughty couture"

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5 and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"i've dated so many tools i could open a home depot"

"I'm going to bed tonight at a reasonable hour so I can be extremely obnoxious at an unreasonable hour tomorrow."

"When I have a tough decision, I ask myself... ""What would Jesus do?"" Then, I remember how things turned out for him... And, flip a coin."

"What's a good name for a cat? Catsper."

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"In 5 yrs I will be drinking from a crystal decanter discussing affairs & murders in my upper middle class community. Also, I will have a hat"

"OK it's like sure, I've MURDERED before. Big deal. Sue me. It's not like I'm a MURDERER or anything. I only do it socially."

"I get it grandma. I'm not sure what to do on Facebook either."