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Joke of the Day

"I've made a fortune in gambling by betting my bottom dollar that the sun will come out tomorrow, thanks to my bookie, Annie."

"*Knock Knock* ""Who's there?"" ""David"" ""David who?"" ""Dad you only have one son named David, please let me out of the basement now."""

"There was a little girl who had a curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very good. But when she was bad, hot damn, she was terrific!"

"Opposites If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?"

"I had a job at a lumber yard, but I soon got board."

"Say what you will about Hitler, but the guy did kill Hitler."

"Mayweather still has a perfect record At least until he's convicted"

"I know the best way to get downvoted. I'll tell you if someone gives me gold!"

"I like to torture my kids by buying them a new Xbox game, and then taking them to the zoo all day."

"What do you call a midget prostitute? A lowrider"