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Joke of the Day

"My work day - 8:00-11:30 - wonder what I'll eat for lunch today 11:30 - 12:00 - eat lunch 12:00 - 4:30 - Damn lunch was good."

"Should I bring anything to your party besides pronounced social anxiety and no food"

"I once had a midget for a wife. until I took an arrow to the knee."

"A gay couple and a lesbian couple Both need to leave quickly. Who gets out first? The gay couple. Their shit's already packed."

"A law student walks into the bar... ...and passes with flying colors."

"I used to be in a band called The Prevention... We were better than the Cure."

"What do you call a woman without a dick in her mouth? Useless!!! (Just kidding)"

"What does it mean when a girl likes a 12 inch dick? She has a foot fetish. :D"

"You guys, I just submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!"

"I treat my body like a temple.. That's been destroyed by ISIS"