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Joke of the Day

"Italian wedding invitation , 2 D wedding Rosa Mr ."

"I'll never set a book in the ancient Roman Empire again. Ben Hur, done that."

"Hey baby..are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids in you"

"I was thinking about quitting ciggaretes But my mom always taught me not to be a quitter"

"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"

"Teacher: Where is the English Channel? Student: I don't know, my tv doesn't pick it up"

"Why did Simba's dad die in a stampede? Because he didn't Moofassa enough! Edit: general consensus was to add ""enough"""

"How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it."

"""Hey."" ""Hey."" ""What's up?"" ""Nothing."" END OF CONVERSATION."

"I intend to live forever... or die trying."