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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"

"A tourist asks a Scottish villager ""Do you have a local attraction?"" ""We used to- he answers- but she got married."""

"How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None. Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes."

"My cat went missing, so I put up posters of myself that says... ""If you're reading this, you better get your ass back home right now!"""

"Cuddled up to my girlfriend last night, she said, ""Aw you finally chose me over Facebook!"" I just didn't have the heart to tell her my battery just died."

"What would BuckWheat from Little Rascals be called if he were a Muslim? Kareem of Wheat."

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"

"A man walks into a library and asks ""do you have that book for men with small penises?"" The librarian looks on her computer and says ""I don't know if it's in yet."" ""Yeah that's the one."""

"Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver."

"It's terrible waking up with regret. Perhaps if she changed her name I'd feel better."