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Joke of the Day

"Two kinds of lairs when it comes to masturbation ... Those that say they never have ... ...And those that say they quit ."

"We've secretly replaced Janet's coffee with melatonin capsules. Let's see if okay yeah, she noticed. She looks pissed. Sleepy, but pissed..."

"Two lawyers are sitting in a bar... ... When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, ""Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?"" and the other lawyer replies, ""Outta what?"""

"A man on his deathbed told his wife he would like to make love one last time... She replied ""I'm the one who has to get up in the morning!"""

"Did you hear about the new HBO series that investigates gambling in sports? It's called Thrown Games."

"One day a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly the blonde's friend said ""Oh look a dead birdie!"" The blonde looked up and said ""Where?"""

"Q: Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night? A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car."

"You know you screwed up with your blind girlfriend when she says ""We should see other people""."

"What is the difference between Harry potter and jews? Harry potter made it out if the chamber"

"Oil producers are losing money on every barrel ... But, that's OK because they're making up for it on volume."