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Joke of the Day
"My wife said she wanted 12"" hard So I gave her four inches three times and slapped her ass."
Next Joke
"""Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated"" - how a kid talks shit in 2015"
"4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here."
"*takes out one earbud* ""not guilty, your honor"""
"Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt? He didn't want to be spotted."
"You scream, I scream, we all scream, then I leave the women's restroom."
"What is a duck's favorite TV show ? The feather forecast !"
"Atheism... is a non-prophet organization."
"If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking."
"You can call me a narcissist... Just make sure you say my name."