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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dog who had sleep apnea? He had to get a C-PUP machine."

"Help! I can't post anything on Reddit! Pls help!"

"I used to have a fear for speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it. Edit: Why is this flaired as dirty?"

"Calm down check out guy, you don't have to inspect my $20 so hard, If I was talented enough to make my own, I wouldn't be in Quickie Mart.."

"When I get real bored I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving."

"A Google Doc of friends' employment status so everyone knows who can chill whenever."

"I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven..."

"Car Talk So a transmission asks an engine, ""Yo Engine, hows things with you today?"" and the engine replies ""Oh you know, just another day in the hood..."""

"Matter is the Real MVP m = V * p"

"Friends from school are like hot dogs You have them because they're there, not because you love them"