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Joke of the Day

"I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven..."

"Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming."

"SHOUTOUT TO LIBRARIANS! (*sorry*)"

"Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates? They don't want to be ostrich-sized!"

"Did you hear about the guy with a jurisprudence fetish? He got off on a technicality."

"Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting."

"What do they do for the 4th of July in England? Sulk."

"believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it."

"I've never liked new years at time square They always drop the ball"

"Nudist's have the right idea.. Screw laundry!"