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Joke of the Day

"I'm DJ Con$tapation I don't give a shit."

"[god creating snakes] how about a sock that's angry all the time"

"What do you call butt sex in public? PDAnal"

"Where do volcanoes go to relieve themselves? The lavatory, of course!"

"When my wife says ""I don't want to talk about it"" that's woman code for you better put your life on hold for 2 hours & find out what ""It"" is"

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"

"So is Walmart a verb now? As in, ""I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."""

"Medusa is the sexiest woman to ever live... everyone who saw her got hard"

"I failed my Biology test yesterday I was asked to name a parasite currently living in Britain. Apparently 'Muslims' isn't the correct answer."

"Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey? The games take 3 months to play!"