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Joke of the Day

"The school called me on the phone today and said, ""Your son has been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good! I don't have no kids!"

"What does Freud like to do with his mum Oedipussy"

"Yoda: *dies and fades away* Luke: Thank God. I was so sick of his backward talking. Ghost Yoda: Heard that, I did."

"Loan shark: If you're late my guys will ... Me: Tell my gf my phone password? LS: Break every bone in your body M: Oh. Yeah that's fine"

"Difference between oral and anal What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak!"

"Laugh while you can, 2016... ...you're next."

"Why did the gold fish cross the road? To go to /r/antijokes"

"What did the triangle say to the circle? Why are you so pointless?"

"HEROIC ACT - I stick my head under dressing room doors to tell people they look nice in whatever they are trying on."

"Last night my girlfriend fell asleep before me, so I decided to lick her pussy until she woke up. This morning she asked why the cat seemed afraid of me."