191803

Joke of the Day

"Yoda: *dies and fades away* Luke: Thank God. I was so sick of his backward talking. Ghost Yoda: Heard that, I did."

"You are all invited to my murder shed, I mean my shed"

"What do scientists say when they meet each other? Hydrogen Iodide"

"Never feel worthless! Your organs are worth thousands."

"I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish."

"What did one butt cheek say to the other? If we stick together, we can stop this crap!"

"""Daddy, I was just in the bathroom peeing, nothing else. That's all, so you don't need to look."" - my 6yo, not sounding at all suspicious"

"What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman? The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample."

"Surprised ""too much"" still isn't a serving size."

"How do you get even with Hellen Keller? (Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"