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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt can actually finish a race."

"What do you call a powerful, asshole-ish potato? A dick-tater."

"If your nervous tick is pointing to the sky then might i suggest not going to auctions anymore."

"A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them for a minute and says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"I hope you guys realize that sunflower seeds are salted little plant babies."

"What do you call an entrance to a brothel? Hodor."

"What do you call a deer that can't see? No eye deer. Say it fast and with a southern accent for full effect."

"Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat's paw] Ignore himhe'll never understand love."

"Britain left the European Union.... Some think that the country will eurupt"

"1) Put on chicken costume 2) Go to store to pick up eggs 3) Run up to store manager and emotionally scream ""WHO DID THIS TO MY CHILDREN????"""