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Joke of the Day

"Britain left the European Union.... Some think that the country will eurupt"

"Let's name him something that will make children smile ""How about Santa?"" Ok but let's add something fierce so they are afraid to defy him"

"Just noticed that the use by date on my crumpets was April 1st I was sure that someone was playing a joke on me."

"I once farted in an Apple store... It's not my fault they don't have windows."

"If I had to guess where everything went wrong, I'd have to say it was the day I learned ""elemenopee"" wasn't one awesome letter."

"dont be sad, girl. u are like a iceberg.. 90% of ur beauty is below the surface. now 95%. now 100% OMG GIRL ARE YOU DROWNIMG"

"eer booze and fun!' 'A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets 'em down on the bar. And then the bartender said ""Now dont you start anything!!"""

"Just heard that someone has started digging Fidel Castro's grave.. Must be a communist plot."

"What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him? Get off me holmes"

"You can pretty much tell me anything is an anagram and I'll believe it. I'm not about to rearrange a bunch of letters like some doctor"