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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an entrance to a brothel? Hodor."

"It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?"

"When someone texts you ""hahahahaha!!"" instead of ""haha"" or ""lol"", you know you've done well."

"Did you hear about the country adopting a ""Get to it Later"" policy? I guess you could say it's a procrasti-NATION"

"What do you get when you cross a lesbian with a hippopotamus? A lickalottapuss."

"Old age homes suck people are dying to get out of there."

"ME: I hit my neighbors car. CAT: I killed my last 4 owners. ME: YOU CAN TALK! CAT: ... ME: Wait, what did you just say? CAT: *blinks*"

"I run an amateur dramatic society. Someone approached me recently wanting to do an all dwarf version of the pantomime ""Aladdin"". The concept is a little wishy-washy."

"Taking my dog on road trips would be more fun if he didn't always insist on driving."

"My wife says I don't listen to her. I think that's what she said, anyhow."