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Joke of the Day

"Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat's paw] Ignore himhe'll never understand love."

"What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a cliff? Nothing, she was wearing mittens."

"Egyptian joke A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher."

"Coworker: I could care less! Me: How much less could you care? Coworker: I don't get it. Me: I noticed."

"What do you call a porno starring Rowan Atkinson? A Bean Flick"

"Stressed Out A guy walked up to me and said 'I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!' and I said 'Relax man, you're two tents!"

"""you should be more serious, sir. this is arson."" ""no this is MY son!"" *tousles his hair* ""ha ha ha. so how many houses did the rascal burn"""

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 'Do you smell carrots?'"

"Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet? Har e-potter."

"The band's name is 1023 MB. They haven't had any gigs yet."