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Joke of the Day

"If there's one thing I know about Mexican stand offs... In the end, there can only be Juan."

"Two men were chatting in a bar ""So what do you do?"" ""I write"" ""Oh, poetry or prose?"" ""Neither, I write cartoons"" ""Why's that?"" ""No rhyme or reason"""

"I told my toilet to go eat shit... I probably shouldn't have said that because he got all flushed."

"New Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan TV show. Two and a half kilos."

"Why did the redneck cross the road His dick was stuck in the chicken"

"We'd have serious problems if Peter Jackson ever became president. He'd look at World Wars I and II and see them as an unfinished trilogy."

"Boss: Dan why is your hand raised? Me: can I go to the bathroom? Boss: Dan you're 23. This is a business meeting Me: so that's a yes?"

"At my funeral, I'd like my family, my closest friends, and a high-pitched squeal no one can locate the source of"

"Comp Sci Joke I'd tell you a joke about TCP but I'd have to keep repeating it until you got it."

"What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores? Give it two test-tickles."