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Joke of the Day

"We'd have serious problems if Peter Jackson ever became president. He'd look at World Wars I and II and see them as an unfinished trilogy."

"5: Mommy can we pee in the pool? M: NO! Neighbors kid: Why? M: Because pee mixed with chlorine produces sharks and they'll eat and kill you."

"When a relationship becomes too much work can you outsource the work to China?"

"Why did the baby have such a poor time in the marathon? He was running a little behind"

"Birth Control It's like direct deposit without the interest"

"A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........ Shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help."

"I don't understand the big deal about same sex marriage Ask any married couple, they'll tell you the sex has been the same for years"

"The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died."

"Some bitch just called me a crack whore... Stupid dogs, ass is the only way to go ;)"

"What type of brain does a plant have? A membrane"