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Joke of the Day
"I told my toilet to go eat shit... I probably shouldn't have said that because he got all flushed."
Next Joke
"Someone told me I was ""good people"" and I replied ""OMG you can hear them too?"""
"Reasons he didn't text you: - He forgot. - He fell asleep. - His phone died. - His pet died. - His GF died. - He died. - He thinks you died."
"I'm all for saving the planet, but recycling jokes doesn't help..."
"A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife."
"my shower thoughts kept getting deeper and deeper and deeper... then i realized it was because i had the drain-plug in."
"Why did the blond not come out of the shower? Because the bottle said to lather, rinse, and repeat."
"""The best things in life are free."" ~ shoplifters."
"If I were black... I'd stand in front of a tanning salon and laugh at all the customers. Source: Neal Brennan"
"I'll never forget the first time Mum made some rock cakes. She passed then round and told me to take my pick. I didn't need a pick, I needed a hammer and chisel."