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Joke of the Day

"What is a chicken's favorite composer? Bach!"

"Knock, Knock! Knock, knock! Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snowbody!"

"I fell asleep at a party the other night and someone put a teabag in my mouth. I went fuckin mental. No one treats me like a mug"

"Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper"

"If gay guys come out of closets... do midgets come out of cabinets?"

"""As a side dish to your burrito would you like all the things that are inside the burrito, again?"" - Mexican restaurants"

"*wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*"

"I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's a bit heavy, the others a little lighter."