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Joke of the Day

"What's the similarity between my dad and a magician. They both like sawing people in half for fun"

"Why weren't you at the Halloween party? My costume was a black father so I couldn't be there."

"The sadomasochist was arrested and put in front of a judge he got off with a slap on the wrist"

"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."

"*leaves the kids w/ a new babysitter *calls to check on the sitter"

"Why are there no female serial killers? Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone."

"What do toys and boobs have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them!"

"What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief? The way they enter your house."

"For all the downvoters GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER"

"me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia"