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Joke of the Day

"I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit."

"How many optometrist does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2? 1... Or 2? 1 or 2?"

"why are flies the biggest troll? they only live for three days, and spend it fucking with you"

"How do Hawaiians subtly enjoy a bad joke? with a low ""ha"""

"How did realism get me banned from Facebook? I sided with cancer on the ""Kids VS Cancer"" page."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool."

"North Koreans are huge Dark Souls fans They spend all their time praisin' the son."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife is dead."

"Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!"

"With Vladimir Putin so eager to restore ties, I think the U.S and Russia should form one country. We can call it The United States of Soviet Russia! USSR for short."