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Joke of the Day

"How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? Sorry, your Quest to whore karma is currently unavailable. Please try again later."

"My favorite one-liner. So, I was with this blind chick last night. She said, ""You have the biggest penis I ever felt!"" I said, ""Ahh, you're pulling my leg."""

"What is the difference between a chihuahua humping your leg and a pit bull humping your leg? The pit bull gets to finish."

"America elected Donald Trump And we're going toupee for it"

"A man goes to a psychiatrist ""Doctor, I don't know what to do. My wife thinks she's a piano."" Doctor says ""Well, bring her in."" ""Are you *nuts*? Do you know what it costs to move a piano?"""

"Ok son, the bad news is, your dog died while u were at school. The good news however, I found a vape pen in a tree mmmm onion flavor"

"How often do lesbian gypsies get their hands read? Every 28 days or so."

"I went to a large bookstore ... ... and asked the lady at the counter, where the self-help section was. She said if she would tell me, it would defeat the very purpose of it."

"People say there is power in numbers. Say that to 6 million jews. -Jimmy carr"

"Why are dicks like quantum particles Measuring them changes the result"