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Joke of the Day

"The ""Lumos/Nox"" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However... I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid ""Avada Kedavra."""

"Excited for the return of Game of Thrones. Not excited for the return of the phrase, ""If you'd read the books, you'd know that..."""

"If you love something, set it free. If it scurries up a wall, spins a web, & eats insects, it was probably a beagle or hound of some sort."

"I went to the store to get 6 cans of sprite... Ended up picking 7up"

"Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep? Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul."

"I went to the library and asked for a book on rohypnol. That's the last thing I remember."

"What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies? A garbage truck"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Betsy ! Betsy who ? Betsy of all it's a cadillac !"

"Q: How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash? A: She's the one on her bike."

"My new girlfriend wants to meet my dad But I do too."