85309

Joke of the Day

"Annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there's always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time"

"There are some things Black people can't really say... Like, ""Skinny Macchiato"" Or, ""Too-da-loo"" And, ""Thank you for your help, Officer."""

"The worst part of taking calc class Every day, I deal with my e^x"

"A woman told me at dinner she liked me because I'm ""not afraid to eat bread""--so I'm done with socializing for at least a year thanks"

"A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it."

"What is the design philosophy of the iPhone 7? Jack off"

"What do you get when you cross a dog with an amplifier? A subwoofer."

"How my dad taught me how to button my suit coats. He said *""Think of it like a woman; sometimes the top, always the middle, but never the bottom.""*"

"I'm not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be tit shaped."

"I've been getting fewer and fewer new followers but I'll be damned if I'm going to tweet something good just because some people have taste."