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Joke of the Day

"I saw a zombie wearing Crocs on The Walking Dead and thought to myself ""she totally deserved to die""."

"I tricked my construction coworker at lunch by putting chunks of concrete in his sandwich. He shit a brick after he found out."

"this is a serious question if you have sex with a hoker and dont pay is it shoplifting"

"How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill? By walking... jk rolling"

"What do women call men who are shorter than 5'7""? Friends"

"Peyton Manning is opening a bakery. As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers."

"I injured my back in Egypt... and had to see a Cairo-practor"

"""We're not so different, you and I,"" Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper."

"Oh, you dropped out of school to pursue your dreams? Cool. I'll have a number 1 and hold the lettuce please."

"Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!"