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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!"

"878 dead bodies lay there. Liam Nesson ""Are we done?"" Police: ""Sure, I don't see any reason why we should arrest you."""

"What sort of undergarments does a succinct pugilist wear? Boxer briefs!"

"You can't buy love, but you can buy a lot of alcohol so just be happy about that."

"Getting a retweet from someone with 0 followers is like being a beneficiary in a homeless person's will."

"People who pronounce didn't as.""dih-in't"" please doh-on't."

"Inside everybody there's a still, small voice seeking to guide them on their journey through life. It was put there by the CIA."

"I really didn't want to go the dermatologist... ...but my dad told me to face my fears! *thought of this while washing my face*"

"I stopped living paycheck to paycheck... ...now I live direct deposit to direct deposit."

"I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces"