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Joke of the Day

"Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him? It was an emergent sea."

"What do you call a blind german? A not-see."

"Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album. It will be about her split with Spotify."

"Two atoms walk into a bar... One says, ""Oh no, I've lost an electron."" The other asks, ""Are you sure?"" ""Yeah, I'm positive!"""

"A puzzling amount of nonsense... If you're sailing through the desert and your house gets a flat how many flapjack a would it take to put that motherfucker up on stilts?"

"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff."

"How do you figure out how sensitive a man's balls are? Test tickles"

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"My new puppy is an excellent blacksmith... ...every time I yell he makes a bolt for the door!"

"Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course? He got a hole in one."