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Joke of the Day

"My new puppy is an excellent blacksmith... ...every time I yell he makes a bolt for the door!"

"What is McDonald's demolition service called? Quarter pounder."

"What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am? It's your dad."

"If you can't handle me getting arrested in my pajama pants at Walmart than you don't deserve me buying produce in my yoga pants at Target."

"Why don't black people dream? Because we killed the last one that did."

"Sarcasm: confusing stupid people and pissing off idiots everywhere."

"A blonde and a brunette are in a room... The blonde ask: ""What does idk stand for?"" Brunette: ""I don't know."" Blonde: ""OMG, no one does!"""

"I had never woken up to a blowjob before That is the last time I sleep with my mouth open on the subway!"

"Two Scarecrows are standing out in a field... One says to the other, ""Hey man!"""

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a WWI soldier? A WWI soldier has a reason for shooting himself in the foot."