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Joke of the Day

"A puzzling amount of nonsense... If you're sailing through the desert and your house gets a flat how many flapjack a would it take to put that motherfucker up on stilts?"

"The steak pun... ...a rare medium, sometimes well done."

"Imagine if a guy with a stutter was named History because History repeats himself"

"Starbucks and Hooters should merge. Can you imagine ordering a Double D Latte? Everything you need in a cup or two."

"[at restaurant] ""check, please!"" [waiter leans over] sir, again, there are no monsters under the table ""ok....goodnight"" wait what"

"Why is math a scumbag? Because it borrows the one and never gives it back."

"Did you hear Elon Musk just started a new breakfast foods company? What else can you expect from a cereal entrepreneur!"

"My son came to my crying today and said, ""Dad, when you are at work, Uncle Dave touches me."" Couldn't believe it.. My own son... A fucking snitch"

"I once dated a dyslexic woman. I took her home and she cooked my sock."

"The only things that defy gravity are women... ...the heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up."