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Joke of the Day

"REAL math joke At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: ""Can I join?"". ""Yeah."", V and W reply; ""It's a closed party..."""

"Sorry kids, Santa isn't real. If he was, he'd be an obese pedophile, felon, and elf slave owner. Seriously though, Merry Christmas."

"My friend told me this one Q: Why is it so hard to make up your mind on what to get in an Italian restaurant? A: There are just too many pastabilities!"

"Why did the raisin take the prune to the new year's ball? Because he couldn't find a date!"

"What does it look like when someone is drowning? lol"

"Micky Mouse is in divorce court The judge says, ""So you, uh, want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"" And Mickey says, ""Um, no, I think what you heard me say is that she's fucking Goofy!"""

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A Quarter-Pounder with Cheese."

"What does a parrot named Larry talk about? Vocabulary"

"Procrastination is a lot like masturbation... It's all great until you realize you're just fucking yourself."

"Any sink has a garbage disposal if you push hard enough."