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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A Quarter-Pounder with Cheese."

"Did you hear about the monster who went to a holiday camp? He won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and he wasn't even entered."

"A young wife was dying... She called her husband and said, ""Gary, I have a confession: I've been unfaithful."" Gary answered, ""I know. That's why I poisoned you."""

"Why did the scarecrow win so many awards? Because he was out standing in his field."

"*waiter pouring wine* Say when sir *wine slowly fills up the restaurant*"

"What did the teenage boy who was jerking off in his room say when his mother called? One second mom, I'm coming!"

"After watching the Olympics, a little boy says to his mom, ""When I grow up, I want to be like Ryan Lochte!"" She says, ""Honey, you can't have it both ways."""

"Mama said there'd be days like this, and also ""knock you out"" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk."

"Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels she strikes oil!"

"Why is lettuce my favorite vegetable? Just cos."