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Joke of the Day

"The Device Too Big To Fail I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, ""The Titanic is syncing."""

"What is the cutest car? A BM-cuddle-U"

"Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice."

"""there's nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars"" Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too."

"While texting a girl she told me ""I'm board"" so I stopped seeing her. I wasn't offended. I just don't date wood. Or people who can't spell."

"Dear Liver: The holidays are almost over. Come on you can do this!"

"When I was in the army our commanding officer always made decisions based on the way our whole unit felt. I kind of miss him. Good ol' General Consensus."

"Animal Mathematics If a Man is in bed with 2 Women, how many Animals are there in the bed? Answer = 14 How ? 3 Asses + 6 Calves + 2 Pussies + 2 Chicks + 1 Cock"

"What is the worst thing about being an egg? You only get laid once, and that's by your mother!"

"My doctor just told me I have Alzheimers... The only thing I can do now is figure out why I'm at this hospital"