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Joke of the Day
"I got a job at the circus circumcising baby elephants. It pays peanuts, but the tips are huge."
Next Joke
"The little children I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks."
"Why do Americans drink their tea cold? Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor."
"No child left behind! Act of 2001, The legislation was proposed by President George W. Bush Behind what? behind the Front line. . ."
"Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I'd like to read a medication bottle that says ""May Cause Multiple Orgasms"""
"Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says ""Hey, did you hear about the Mad Cow Disease? It's spreading pretty fast."" The other cow says ""Yeah. Good thing I'm a helicopter."""
"Why did Michael Bay jump off a bridge? Cause Tony Scott did it first."
"No, YOUR stupid."
"What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny? ""Hey, this looks new!"""
"One day a wife complained.. ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied, ""The darn clock always was slow."""