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Joke of the Day

"I got a job at the circus circumcising baby elephants. It pays peanuts, but the tips are huge."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter? Santa would never free an elf."

"News: Don't panic about Ebola, but please watch this nonstop coverage about how it could spread everywhere and kill you. Don't panic though."

"Which of the Knights of the Round Table actually created the round table? Circumference."

"How did the programmer celebrate his birthday? var celebration = [""Hip"", ""Hip""];"

"A horse trots into a bar . . . with a 8 foot stringy greasy turd stuck in his butt, dragging along behind. Bartender stares down at the trailing choad, then looks up - ""Why the long feces?"""

"Did you hear about the guy who entered a joke and 10 puns in a contest? The joke won, but no pun in ten did."

"Ninety-sixing is how dyslexic people perform the sexual position where both partners are conducting oral sex on each other at the same time."

"Why did the Siamese twins move to England? So the one on the right could drive for a change."

"To the ""Remain"" crowd in Britain... come to Canada! Half of the US is moving here soon anyhow."