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Joke of the Day

"Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth? He didn't understand Flossophy!"

"What's your number? A Jewish girl and a man meet in a bar. They hit it off and the man asks for the girls number. The girl lifts up her sleeve."

"Alan Rickman's grave was prepared many days ago... ... They've just been waiting for him to slither-in."

"Beyonce: Ok now ladies let's get in formation. Ladies: Information about what? Beyonce: Dammit, ladies, we went over this."

"How do depressed people play the violin? With a razor and their wrist."

"I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken, and hooked up with a girl dressed as an egg. Things happened but in the end, we answered a life-long question... The chicken came first."

"What's the difference between jeweler, a cut down tree, and a sea captain? A sea captain watches the seas, while a jeweler sees the watches."

"Did you hear the AIDS joke? You haven't? Never mind, I don't want to spread it."

"Can woman make man a millionaire? Yes, if he is a billionaire"

"My doctor just told me I'm a compulsive liar. Then she gave me a blow job in her office."