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Joke of the Day
"I don't have bad posture, my body's just sad."
Next Joke
"90% of my friends have hemorrhoids. The other 10% are perfect ass holes."
"Thanks for the holiday photo! I can't believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!"
"[lumberjack interview] BOSS: I'm gonna ""axe"" you a few questions. Haha do you get it? ME: Yeah I ""saw"" that coming BOSS: Ooo welcome aboard!"
"What's the funniest thing you have heard about US Politics? Donald Trump, President of the United States of America"
"What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty, but deer nuts are under a buck!"
"Saw a group of ants carrying a Funyun and it made me wish my friends and I had a giant Funyun."
"JUDGE: I find you guilty of murder. Sentenced to life. LAWYER: But it was only 20 minutes of murder. JUDGE: Oh, then you're free to go."
"We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food ""Are you nuts?"" Dear God"
"Hitler killed... six million Jews..."