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Joke of the Day

"Gf: Remember that night we had unprotected sex Me: Yeah Gf: I'm having twins Me suspiciously: We only did it once why's there two babies"

"Investigators say the Germanwings copilot suffered from manic depression. One minute he was up, then he was down."

"19 showed us what he has learned at college when he asked ""can we drink screwdrivers while we are opening presents?"" *making screwdrivers*"

"What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that."

"What do women and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."

"Quizzes...... If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

"Standing in the Park wondering why... I was standing in the Park wondering why Frisbies appear larger the closer it gets. Then it hit me."

"What kid of music do old people listen to? Hip-Pop"

"What do you call a smart plumber? A wisecrack."

"What happens in vegans stays in vegans, unless they eat fiber."