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Joke of the Day

"Gf: Remember that night we had unprotected sex Me: Yeah Gf: I'm having twins Me suspiciously: We only did it once why's there two babies"

"What does it's job ONLY after it has been fired? A bullet"

"A guy has sex with Sarah Mclachlan... A guy has sex with Sarah Mclachlan. After hearing about this, his friend says ""So, what was it like to be in the arms of an angel?"""

"How is your diet going? ""Horrible. I had eggs for breakfast."" ""Scrambled?"" ""Cadbury."""

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally had no arms. Knock knock ""Who's there?"" Not Sally"

"Why do they call wood carving ""whittling""? Because you start with a bigger piece of wood, and you make it whittler."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide."

"""Please add your phone number to secure your acct."" Facebook is now the Nigerian Prince."

"Where do American bees store their honey? In a USBee hive. ~Thank my ten year old for that one."

"What do you call an army of corn? The Musket - ears"