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Joke of the Day

"Premature ejaculation was the number one public health issue in the North Pole in 2016 Looks like Santa came early this year"

"[Boss' office] ""You're late AGAIN."" Drove back for my phone. ""Why do need it at work?"" It's all I do. ""WHAT?"" I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? (NSFW) To suck the cock"

"I grew up for this?"

"""IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!!!"" I yell at the guy next to me at the red light while tweezing stray hairs from my chin."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? ........to get to the other side"

"My dream car is shaq wearing heelys holding me up by my hips like simba"

"How do you tell the difference between members of the GOP and ISIS? Skin color."

"What is faster than silver surfer? Quicksilver Surfer! :D"

"How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math? Carry the Juan"